In Attachment Lies Love
by ReunitedLight
Summary: In another universe where Anakin turned back from the dark before it was too late, the Republic and the Jedi stand strong. But attachments are still forbidden, and lies must be lived to keep the peace alive.


_A/N: In legends, Lady Saro let Vader see visions of his dead wife._

* * *

Time for another Council meeting.

Anakin opened his eyes. He was meditating in his quarters. He stood up slowly, clasped his hands, and prepared for walking through the Jedi hallways.

The Jedi Temple had been repaired. Palpatine's rule had been terrible but short, Anakin being on the team that assassinated him. But as Anakin stepped out of his room, the few Jedi that were there gave him a wary glance. They didn't trust him anymore, and they moved aside as he stepped past them.

After a few more halls Anakin could see the door to the Jedi Council chamber. He didn't seem to know where he was going, because he bumped into a Jedi. When he looked down at the Jedi to apologize, he shuddered in shock.

It was Luke.

Luke's eyes widened as he stared up at the Chosen One. _What should I say to him? This is the Chosen One, the one who drove his lightsaber into the Emperor's heart himself! The other Jedi don't respect him, but I feel like I should._

"Oh, um… I'm sorry, Master Skywalker," Luke stuttered nervously.

Anakin nodded at him. "It is fine."

 _It was late at night when Anakin and Padmé made their decision._

 _Anakin was beside himself with anger, but he didn't want Padmé to see it. With a voice hiding his true anger, he exhaled, "They don't trust us to raise our own children."_

 _Padmé was busy chiding the baby in her arms. She looked up at him with dull, betrayed eyes. "They don't." Her lips pursed. "But it's a choice we don't have. You would think that after Order 66, after Mustafar, they would never trust you again. I'm sorry Anakin, it's the truth."_

 _Anakin was still slightly broken with shame. That night after choking his wife, he had thought about starting a duel with Obi-Wan, but didn't. He had gone to her side, and finally broke down with regret and the realization of what he had done. For a moment he hadn't wanted to show that weakness, but he supposed it was the right thing to do._

 _Obi-Wan had helped him. Together they and Yoda had brought together a ragtag group of Jedi who had survived Order 66. Together, these Jedi killed the Emperor with the help of Anakin. But after Order 66, no one was sure if they could trust him again._

 _Anakin frowned at his wife. "I don't want to give them away. They're all we have together."_

 _Padmé raised her unnaturally pale face to him. "That was the deal. I'm as depressed as you are. But again, it's a choice we do not have."_

 _Anakin cried, "They forgave me. You-"_

 _Padmé's eyes hardened. "Did not. And they did not forgive you, despite making you a Knight."_

 _Anakin lowered his head. "Then I suppose we have made our decision."_

"I apologize, Master Skywalker," Luke said again.

Anakin waved a hand at him nonchalantly. "Like I said, it is completely fine, Padawan Saro."

Luke bobbed his head up and down politely and headed on his way.

Anakin finally reached the door to the Jedi Council chambers. Upon opening the door, he saw Grand Master Yoda along with Supreme Chancellor Amidala.

The Jedi knew of his relations with the Chancellor, but they didn't mention it anymore. Chancellor Amidala tilted her head to him. "Jedi Knight Skywalker," she greeted, her eyes emotionless.

"Chancellor Amidala, Skywalker, the meeting begins," Yoda began as he beckoned for them to go to the middle of the room. Obi-Wan started to talk as the doors to the chamber closed.

 _Obi-Wan was grateful that Anakin had returned to the Light. He was now second to Yoda, in the absence of Mace Windu, and was in charge of finding force-sensitive children around the galaxy and bringing them to the Temple. The reputation of the Jedi had improved tremendously thanks to Chancellor Amidala's efforts._

 _The last time Obi-Wan went into Anakin's quarters was when they discussed matters about Anakin's children._

 _Obi-Wan stared at Anakin with stormy gray eyes that held the fresh pain of betrayal. "You have decided to give them to the Jedi. An honorable choice."_

 _Anakin's barely contained anger bubbled inside him, but he answered, "Yes. Luke and Leia Saro are yours to keep."_

 _Obi-Wan nodded respectfully and left the room._

 _Fifteen years passed, Anakin having said not one word to the man who now sat in the seat which was once Mace Windu's. But when he heard that Luke and Leia had passed the initiate trials, he rushed to see them._

 _Caleb Dume, a Jedi Master who had been a Padawan during Order 66, nodded distrustfully at Anakin when he saw the Jedi Knight come into view from around the corner._

" _How are these initiates doing? I hear they have passed the trials," Anakin spoke dully, his eyes deep with pain._

 _Obi-Wan nodded at him. "Hello, Knight Skywalker. Yes, Luke and Leia Saro have passed the trials. You will be pleased to hear I have taken Luke as my Padawan."_

 _Anakin shook Luke's hand. "Congratulations."_

 _Luke looked up at him with curious blue eyes. "Thank you."_

 _Leia, unlike Luke, had developed a deep mistrust for the former Sith Lord like most other Jedi. "Is this your business, Master Skywalker?"_

 _Anakin's eyes flashed with more pain. "I had just heard. You are the most powerful initiates of your time. Is there any reason for me not to?"_

 _Leia said bitterly, "What do you know about Jedi younglings! You personally slaughtered the ones in the Jedi Temple, the night of Order 66, as I recall. You-"_

 _Caleb put a hand on Leia's shoulder. "Enough." He looked up at Obi-Wan and smiled. "These twins are sure going to be hard to train." Then, switching his gaze to Anakin, he glared at him with his green eyes. "That will be all, Skywalker. Good luck on your mission."_

 _Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes. Good luck."_

 _That was the last time Kenobi and Skywalker ever spoke to each other._

That evening, Anakin found himself at Chancellor Amidala's apartment. The Chancellor stared at him in surprise when she arrived home after a long day of work.

"Master Skywalker!" she exclaimed. She turned around to Captain Typho. "Leave us, please."

Anakin stared at his wife, feeling that they were more estranged than ever.

"Padmé… um, I'm sorry, I do not know what landed me here." They hadn't divorced, but they were separated. Divorce for them had never been an option, because divorce was pointless after all. There was no need to cause a commotion in the Republic because of marriage issues.

Padmé's pale, no longer healthy face darkened. The effects of Mustafar had altered her soul forever, and these changes were reflected in her pale body as if the dark side had claimed her body for its own. "Anakin."

"I'm still your husband," Anakin pleaded, the pain of the last twenty years flowing out in a rush. "We shared something…"

Padmé's black eyes didn't change. "But no longer."

Anakin sighed, a tear sliding down his cheek. "We gave up so much… I turned from the dark, after choking you, we are in a perfect Republic. But why are things so wrong?"

Padmé stated, "They are not wrong for me."

Anakin cried, "You just hide behind the shadow of being 'Chancellor'! You forget who you once were, what we once shared. Have you forgotten about Luke and Leia as well?"

Padmé's black eyes flashed a bit, reflecting the lava on Mustafar. "Not a day goes by when I don't think of them. But we did what was best! We gave them an honorable life! A life that you lead!"

Anakin screamed, "We _gave them away_!" Something shattered.

Padmé thought for a moment. "We gave them away," she whispered softly. "And now our lives will never be the same. The Jedi don't trust you. The Senate doesn't trust me anymore." She ran to Anakin and stared up at him, the black dissolving into brown. "Oh, Anakin, we've done everything, lived everything… there's nothing more that we will ever be able to do."

Anakin closed his eyes. "Nothing more."

Padmé closed hers as well. "Would you like to stay here tonight?"

Anakin nodded. "One last night with the Skywalker family. But no more."

Late that night, Anakin slept on one side of the bed at the very edge. Padmé slept too, on the opposite side. They were not touching.

Padmé woke up and rolled over, her eyes as black as space in the dark. She touched her husband's shoulder. Anakin turned around. Padmé hesitated, but she whispered, "I love you."

Anakin smiled sadly. "I love you too."

As they turned around, Anakin let out a melancholy sigh carrying the pain of a thousand years. "I love you," he whispered again, thinking that if they said it to each other enough, then maybe one day it would be true.

* * *

Darth Vader didn't think about it much anymore. Another of his ridiculous daydreams. But deep inside himself, he wondered why the duel on Mustafar had happened. He had terrible injuries from that duel. Part of him regretted provoking it. But now that she was gone, his life was a living nightmare, full of darkness and pain.

But it was better than loving a lie.


End file.
